I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
