hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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