Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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