if i can run in heels then i can drive
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
