Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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