It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
