her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
