The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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