now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
