He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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