I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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