the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
