you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
