He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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