we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
