At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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