last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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