Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
