i already hear my dad disowning me
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
