If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
