I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
