That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
