it hurts more in the daytime
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
