there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
