Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You made out with two different species that night
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
