bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Randomize
