i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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