Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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