therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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