It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
