i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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