So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
