I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
