And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
