you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
