well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
