I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
