Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
