even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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