You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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