All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
