We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
