Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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