if i can run in heels then i can drive
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
