I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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