I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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