There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
