he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
