I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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