I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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